No Punchline

This is a love letter to all snarky fucks out there like me: "Get over yourself".

"Get over yourself" seems like an odd way to start an aimless, long-overdue blog post... especially this one. But there you go.

It occurred to me recently that I have trouble with sincerity, and adequately expressing myself with words that make sense. When trying to earnestly do this I throw in so many long pauses or 'ums' and 'ahs' that what ends up coming out can't possibly be considered English, legally.

Then I usually follow it all up with something akin to 'your momma'.

Funny? Probably not. Annoying... fuck, yes.

I certainly think sincerely, but the mental wall from what I think and what I eventually say is gargantuan.

Check out my ego, yo.

Because, ultimately, that's what it is... Ego. You don't want to sound silly by really truly earnestly expressing yourself... when, in fact, it's not silly at all. I shouldn't even be calling it that, I just can't think of a better word to use, contextually.

When a person says exactly what is on their mind, it's something to be admired. When they put themselves and their thoughts into the open, it's beautiful. Chances are, I'm preaching to the choir. You know and admire this... but it's always great to have the last laugh! 

Right? 

Wrong.

Well, it's just not what I do? I'm a close book. I'm dark and mysterious and...

Get over yourself.

What if it doesn't work out? 

Well, what does that even mean... 'work out'? You're not lifting weights, you're trusting in the people around you. If you can't do that, why expect that they would or could trust you...?

But, but... 

To blame it all on our upbringing or generational influences is lazy. Ultimately, it all comes down to the person and how willing they are to improve themselves rather than attribute to others.

But, it's not a bad defence. Look at what is called funny nowadays -- crass, demeaning, dismissive, sarcastic humour. Sincere moments are constantly punctuated by a punchline, characters are typically set up in a hierarchy where at least one or more are regular joke-butts.

Even the tone in our advertising is challenging, when it's not being unrealistically sexy. "Prove yourself by buying this product!" it screams, with the snarky "yeah right, as if" attitude of a playground bully -- mostly radio and TV for this, by the way. It's all about tone.

But.. that's irrelevant. We can be better. As much as "get over yourself" should be a daily mantra, "get over it" needs to be a close second -- applicable to upbringing, environment, or whatever sense of humour you think you have. Get over it, be better.

Unless you're a science experiment, your reactions are entirely under your own control.

So, to be dismissive or snarky.. it's not a part of your 'nature', it's a choice. It's a crutch.

Now, don't turn it off. It's a great way to express yourself when you're finally comfortable with someone, but not at the cost of sincerity. Allow yourself to be silent when it's most appropriate -- you don't have to be the loudest person in the room, looking for a joke around every corner. Some of the funniest people I know have also been the most helpful and sincere, when times required...

For some reason, this excellent blog post comes to mind: A Better Way To Introduce Your Friends At Parties. A person is not what they do, it's who they are. Listen to the message of every morality tale you've ever heard!

It'll require a little vulnerability, a little bit of silence, and some more eloquent words than 'fuck', but it's entirely possible.

Now comes the apology -- to those who have known me, and experienced this, I am sorry. I am trying to be better, more courageous, and more vulnerable.

I promise.

Oh Right, a Titile

Beginning to enjoy this school.

For those of you not up to date (assuming, of course, that there are any of you.) I am currently attending the University of King's College one-year BJ program.

Please hold your laughter 'till the end.

This is the sunset I had the pleasure of seeing last week while heading to an interview. Yes, I definitely miss the end of day on Newfoundland's West Coast, but in a small way this managed to adequately fill in...

Plus, yaknow, the school is damn pretty.

Nothing to add here -- just jumpstarting ye-olde blog today, in the hopes that making a photo/ film a day might help me keep this going on the regular.

Wish me luck.

Old Post

An older travelogue account of my time in Scotland. Wrote it for a creative writing class... and BOOM! Came across it today. Decided to blog it. Here you are. 

A massive wall of jagged rock stood before me, reaching up into a thick mist that was slowly working away at the snow that had for some time frosted the very cliff on which I stood at that very moment. The snow was had only recently melted, evidenced by patches of white that still cascaded down the mountainside to my right. This trip had been intended as an ice climbing expedition, but that idea was shelved when it became apparent that the ice was not safe enough to trust with our weight - myself and my guide, Chris - so it became a simple rock-climbing adventure instead. The crampons and ice-picks we had decided to carry just incase were all now dead weight which we were laboriously carrying to the top along with other survival essentials (also packed just incase) that were by no means light, even without the climbing gear. I peeked over the edge and took in the expansive valley that I had just vacated only a few hundred meters previous, and briefly considered how very fortunate I was to be rock climbing in the Scottish Highlands. 

The process had begun a few weeks previous, and was a fairly difficult one due simply to indecisiveness. The circumstances were more ideal than they would ever be again-- I was studying Theatre in England at the Harlow campus of Memorial University Of Newfoundland, and midterm was approaching. There were numerous options for what I could do with a week's worth of free time in a foreign country, but one that kept calling back to me was the relatively cheap airfare that could bring me on a pilgrimage I'd dreamt of since childhood: Loch Ness, Scotland. It was enticing, but why spend the money? In the end it was decided that the money should be spent because it could be spent, simply because the chance would never arise so cheaply again. With that in mind I booked a return ticket to an adventure that would deeply affect me, probably for years to come. 

On the morning of the climb I found myself waiting on a bus stop at 7:30am, munching on toast and honey provided by Morag's Lodge, the Hostel at which I was staying in Fort Augustus on the banks of Loch Ness. The bus ride to Fort William (where I was to meet Chris) was slow and oddly laborious, constantly stopping to pick up schoolchildren who lived on farms and fancy-looking, stone-built estates. Sheep dotted the luscious land as the vehicle occasionally broke down and had to be restarted by the driver, more like a computer than any bus I'd ever ridden in before. During these moments I took the time to lament the rain that dripped down the window on the outside and could very well have meant I wasn't going anywhere high that day. Providing a ray of positivity in these moments was the rolling hills of the Scottish farmland that lay on either side of the tiny highway where my bus sat, puttering away in an attempt to start. 

After dropping off the children at their school, I found myself in the parking lot of a grocery chain, greeting Chris- lithe and muscular in the way you always imagine your adventure tourism types to be. He sported a friendly smile and chatty attitude, setting me at ease concerning the upcoming adventure. We swung by some friends of his to pick up the Crampons and Axes, just in case. 

The journey started with a hike along the inside of the horseshoe valley, snaking up and down along green grass now wet with the same rain that was slowly beginning to soak its way into my bones. The trail weaved criss cross up and down at times, and each time you looked right it took all your being not to hold on to something for dear life. The hike developed a rhythm that allowed constant progress around the grassy green and beige Highlands, eventually finding the rocks on which I now found myself with short-term nostalgia. It was a long way down, and at times daunting to think how high I had come to have not reached the halfway point yet-- according to Chris. The reverie was interrupted by his Scottish accent tickling my eardrums, informing me it was safe to climb now that he had gone on to establish a route. Without any hesitation I turned from the vision and moved further up the jagged stones into the mist and fog. 

Ages

It's been ages since my last post, which is again a redundant statement to make on a blog that barely ever gets any love... Despite the fact I can use it on my phone?

Time to promise the ether (the invisible nobody, or maybe one somebody?) that I will not let this continue... 

For real this time.

--Cabin, July 7th.

Test!

Just a test post, first ever attempt from mobile. Lets see how this goes...

Time to grow up, Hollywood.

Anyone else feel The Academy Awards are old fashioned? Outdated? Irrelevant? Then you're not alone. Many people are already subscribing to this school of thought and I think I'm about to sign up.

This year's Official list of Nominees was released Monday and I was shocked at several glaring omissions, and a couple of zany inclusions-- all of which completely upstaged the decent, and pleasantly surprising nominations.

I'll start with the good before the bad...

Most impressive was Nick Nolte being recognized for excellent work in Warrior, which could be simply described as the MMA version of The Fighter, or more specifically pitched as a look at the bond between two estranged brothers whose metaphorical conflict becomes literal after a long journey to the climax during which they must first battle their own demons. With Nick Nolte in it. I was afraid that, because of the subject matter ("Another fight movie!? Who wants to see that...") it would be overlooked. I was wrong, and couldn't be happier. Easily his best recent performance, even managing to steal scenes from an excellent (and abrasive) Tom Hardy.

Rooney Mara for The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo was another pleasant surprise considering the shadow of Noomi Rapace's performance of the same role in a previous adaptation. The fact that she was able to make me forget about any other incarnation of Lisbeth Salander is impressive, and I'm glad it was recognized despite the fact this excellently constructed film is missing from so many other categories.

From here, I think I'm going to get nasty...
A couple years ago they changed the number of Best Picture nominees from five to ten so that they could give more films a chance. This move was quite foolish because it convoluted the voting pool, but there was justification in that they wanted to include more 'popular' films. More commercial affairs. So where the hell was Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows Pt2? Not typical best picture material, no, but if you're going to do this so that you could nominate popular movies, why not something that was a solid inclusion in its genre/ frenchise? Where are said popular movies, Academy!? Not only that, but they didn't even nominate ten this year. After aaaallll that, they only put nine into the official running for 2011....

SO WHERE THE FUCK WAS DRIVE!?

It took me a while of scanning the list again and again before I realized that this exquisitely constructed, POPULAR film that has been sweeping awards in several different festivals, was completely ignored in every category but sound editing. Nicolas Winding Refn for best director? Nope. Ryan Gosling for best Actor? Nope. Carey Mulligan for Actress (or supporting, even?). Nope. Even Bryan Cranston or Albert Brooks for best Supporting Actor (I'd stand behind either, but Brooks takes the cake playing completely against-type).

Far too cool, I s'pose.

Drive is definitely that 10th movie, and I've got a theory. It's not new, but I need to vent because it's silly. But we'll get to that shortly...

...because we all live in a world where Michael Fassbender is nominated for nothing despite the fact he worked his arse off this year, featured lead and supporting in several flicks, and got no recognition at all for any of it. I figured Shame would be pure Oscar fodder considering its deep digging into human desire and emotions with raw performances by a small cast, but alas I was wrong. Apparently they don't like inappropriate nudity, or sexuality.

Certainly not. Not even a little.

But a few years ago The Reader was nominated. (Instead of The Dark Knight, I might add, which was a commercially and critically successful film. In fact they say that's the reason we now have 10 slots. Or had, I guess.)

Extremely Loud And Incredibly Close made it this year, though. I have no idea what this movie is about except Tom Hanks is in it for a little while and the preview I saw was incredibly dull.
The poor thing has a 6.3 on IMDB.
47% on Rotten Tomatoes.

Yeah Academy, REALLY popular choice there dicksmacks.

I'm sorry. I'm possibly not being fair-- maybe Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close is a good movie? But if you're going to ditch the 10 nominees, opt for only 9 for some reason, then how the hell does this film get on instead of Drive? Girl With The Dragon Tattoo? The Adventures Of Tintin? It seems callous to leave that 10th nomination bare when there are so many that could fill its void. They don't even have to win, guys. People say all the time 'To be nominated is enough.' (That's what Scott Rudin is writing in his diary over and over I'm sure.)

And speaking of Tintin...
Puss In Boots, yes? But not the animated film that was several years in the making and provided some awesome advances in motion tracking technology.
I could puke.
We're in the same place now, in terms of the animated category, that we were a few years ago when traditional animation was waning and digital was beginning to occupy the forefront. When do we start embracing the fact that this is animation, too? And what's more, it's not just voice acting any more but real people embodying the animated characters!? It's just another push forward.

This guy worked to record his voice in a studio for two weeks and posed for this picture. He is now getting more recognition than...

These guys, who spent a couple months putting on the tight suits and actually acting their roles.

AND SPEAKING OF MOTION CAPTURE... Andy Serkis (right, above) not being recognized for his work on Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes (a surprise hit) is a crying shame, and one that will be regretted in a few years when all current Academy members are dead and gone, and forward thinking young new professionals will take their place and MAYBE, just maybe the Academy Awards will reclaim their relevancy in the world when it comes to recognizing quality flicks... sorry, rant. What I meant to say is that it will be regretted in a few years time when industry professionals recognize mo-cap as a legitimate acting form at which Andy Serkis is at the forefront, and rocking it.

Whatever Nomination system they have now is clearly inadequate and broken, governed by old purists who can't handle Ryan Gosling impaling some guy's head.

But this was OK in 1996? Huh?

A few hundred years ago all parts were played by men, on a stage. We've kind of come a long way since then in terms of acting, storytelling, writing, technology... but apparently not very much in mentality.

Change in this industry should be encouraged! I'm well aware none of the above happened overnight but lately we seem to be moving at a snail's pace when it comes to seeing past the barrier of perceived smut, placed in the way by old traditions.

I think it's time that the Academy start embracing the paradigm shifts currently ongoing in the industry in which it's trying to promote and recognize quality and innovation. Contemporary quality films are not 'safe' any more by the standards of old conservative academy members who outnumber the recent inductees.

It is indeed time for Hollywood to mature a little. Something needs to change to compliment the times. A new voting system, maybe? People's Choice? There are a billion options, I'm sure. Grow up, guys. Michael Fassbender has a penis. BIG DEAL. You constantly nominate (and award) girls who take their tops off for roles, why not a man who drops trou?

Was his bigger than yours?

It's sexist, elitist little stuff like that which will take away the credibility of a once prestigious award and drop it to a point where a Razzie has more clout.

Please, no more?

One could say that the studios presiding over the aforementioned snubs are to blame for not properly promoting their films as options for nominations, 'for your consideration'. Is that kind of promotion a requirement*? Or is it too much to ask that academy members watch good movies as professionals who know their industry?

Will anyone kick up a stink, I wonder?
Peter Travers of Rolling Stone Magazine already has, and seems to share many of my thoughts. Or do I share his? How does that work, if he's the more popular guy?

I'd love to see an issue made of all this. But I know it won't. The Oscars are set in their ways for decades to come, and I'll just have to resign to this fact and let it happen.

Will I watch this year? (which always seems to be the ultimate question)
Yes. Because Billy Crystal is not to be missed. He's the only man I know who could possibly bring life to this year's ceremony, and that'll be refreshing after Ricky Gervais' dull (oddly preserved) turn at the Golden Globes.

But will any of it matter to me, like it used to?
Likely not.

What is 'Lost'

...outside of a great TV show?

There's something to be said about it. Getting lost.

In time!?
(Cardiff, Wales^)

I imagine that, in days past, such a thing would be a more serious affair for me. But the fact is that I do it an awful lot, mostly by getting on the wrong bus. Happened in St John's a LOT. But I learned never to do it again, and even more useful: I learned my way around. If I ever caught the wrong bus at the end of a shift, I'd hop off and retrace the steps until I got myself home. I didn't know St John's before moving there, but you can be damned sure I knew my way around after I left, and that was all completely by accident.
Lots of experimentation, too. "Hey, I'll try going this way today! See if I end up anywhere familiar!" So I would. And I did. Caught the wrong bus around town a few times, made note of some landmarks, and voila.
In fact, I think half my knowledge of the geography of St John's comes from accidental bus rides.

Cut to London.

Don't we all wish we just 'could'

I was here once before with a friend way back in '08. He knew his way around. I followed his lead and before long, I was leading. Four years later I come back, and first thing I do is look at a map (no, that's not cheating) and take note of where I need to go, and it's location relative to where I've already been. Then I re-acquaint myself with the tube. Done in an instant.
Bam, I know my way around.
But to be fair, I'm more used to it on the tube... what to do there?
Well, I get out of a show early... so I decide to walk. Get lost, and find my way. Again, it's knowing where to go relative to where I am... not hard. I'm somewhat of a directional aficionado.

Cut to my return from Cardiff.

Perhaps a Church will give me direction?

I get the rail back, try to connect from Liverpool to Harlow Mill.
Not happening, engineering delays. Line is cut.
Ok, I have to take the bus.

Thrilled.

Guy at the ticket counter tells me what train to get so I might connect with a bus. Naturally, in true style, I get on the wrong one.
This put me in all kind of unfamiliar places tonight. I said I was 'lost'. I was, really, but I put my trust in others who knew where I was going-- the kindly National Rail UK folks.
And now I know how to navigate the rail-replacement bus system from London to Harlow.

Keep going. Find a landmark. Look at the sun. Find a body of water. Trust in others. Never Panic.

There's a metaphor in all these stories but I can't think of a single one. Just apply it to your life like a good little reader, eh?

Now I'm patiently waiting for my Sister to come visit tomorrow. It's been some time since she last visited London, so I'm giving lots of advice. Maybe too much. What I don't know, I ask about (another important tool in the lost-man's arsenal, as previously demonstrated.) but for the most part, it's just one tiny detail of transportation. Which I guess isn't all that tiny.

So.. where was I?
Oh right, there's something to be said about getting lost.
Do it. Do it often. Find your way again and it'll help you gain a little more perspective during your travels. Or life in general.

So to answer the title, 'lost' is a great means of finding your way, if you let it.

And that's all for now. I'm going to find my way to my bed.

Dreamy