I'm Making Your Insurance Rates Skyrocket

As a collision victim, a headline caught my eye: "Payouts For Pain And Suffering Keep Premiums Soaring, Says Insurance Bureau". This past week, a report was release saying essentially the same thing.

Nothing like some good old fashioned victim blaming to drive the narrative.

I was hit in July while riding my bicycle. While no bones were broken, I sustained some big hits to my legs and lower back. Miraculously, my neck and head were saved from immediate damage. Wear your helmet, kids.

The issue was soft tissue damage, and I suffer to this day. I have been regularly attending physiotherapy since the fall -- the delay brought on by a confusing-to-navigate compensation system, with mounds of paperwork and emails circulated before I got my first appointment. Alongside these sessions, I have had to buy tools for at-home therapy, also at the expense of their insurance company. So, yup. I'm one of the people apparently raising the premiums. Most of this is paid for by my own insurance through work, and the rest is covered by their insurance -- that's how the system works. When my insurance runs out, theirs will take over. I don't see stopping any time soon, because I notice the difference when I take a "break". It hurts.

Naturally, the victims are being blamed. People are trying to cap the benefits I take advantage of to keep moving like I did before the accident.

If I could take it back, you bet I would. I wish I didn't have to check in with a physiotherapist every other week, making sure my body is healing properly over half a year after the collision.

It would be naive to think people aren't taking advantage of the system through any variation of insurance fraud. Auto repair fraud is well documented in Canada , and likely happening in NL. Every cent affects the system like a pebble in a pond. People are also likely fraudulently claiming soft-tissue damage, as well. So, yes -- this is likely driving up premiums.

Right now, taxi drivers are also having a hard time. There is seemingly no mercy for them. "Drive safer", people are telling them. But, nobody seems to be accounting for their own driving habits.

A few weekends ago, St. John's saw ten collisions in one weekend. One was fatal. There were a few drunk drivers on the roads, of course. It was an anomalous weekend, but tallies of at least three and up are not uncommon. This is excluding the multiple vehicular accidents across the province.

We blame government for not fixing the roads, or demand better signage. We say bike riders shouldn't be on the black top, or pedestrians need to wear brighter clothing. We say there needs to be more police on our highways enforcing speed limits. These are all valid observations, but missing from the conversation each and every time is personal accountability. St. John's dealerships are selling more jeeps and trucks than ever before. More people are driving in more powerful vehicles than ever before, with more potential distractions. Getting a license is laughably easy, with no check-ins after the fact until you are a senior -- and that's assuming people are licensed while they drive.

You know what would keep our rates down? Fewer cars on the road. Better driving. Slower driving. Common sense in bad weather. Paying attention to the signage currently in place. Yielding right-of-ways. Watching out for pedestrians -- not slowing down to let them jaywalk, but to follow the rules of the road and not run them down.

Basically, before we cap pain and suffering insurance for people who need it, let's collectively agree to stop hitting other road users with our massive transportation machines.

A Local Perspective On Guns, and your Water Bottle

In the wake of another horrific school shooting two weeks ago, some news broke in the outdoor industry a little over a week afterwards. The connection between guns to bike brands such as Camelback, Giro, Blackburn and Bell has been discovered. Vista Outdoor is the company that owns each of these quality labels. Vista Outdoor also makes a significant amount of its money from "shooting sports", and a brand called Savage Arms. So, guns. Ammo. Other hunting accessories, which does include semi-automatic rifles, similar to the infamous AR-15.

Many good friends have shared this fact with me and asked my opinion, which is this: I will continue to shop local and buy quality brands I trust. To think my money doesn't trickle upwards in a cascading reverse waterfall that will eventually mix with the currency spent on guns and ammo is naive, absolutely. However, at the end of the day I am more focused on supporting my local businesses rather than the labels.

In between writing articles about this latest controversy, industry journalists are likely looking at every brand in their mud room and digging into the background of each one. I would theorize that many of the outdoor brands you hold dear are distantly connected to guns. Look at Rapha; One of the most boutique and respected cycling apparel brands in the world was recently sold to Wal-Mart heirs for 200 GBP. Wal-Mart also dabbles heavily in gun sales.

Obviously, folks are calling for a boycott of any brands related to Vista Outdoor. This is alongside massive conglomerates distancing themselves from the NRA and gun companies, so the prevailing thought seems to be: do the same on a local level. Your money speaks louder than words. Now is the time for action. Show them what you think. Pull these brands off shelves, don't give them your business. All valid.

But, don't be so quick to pull your dollars away from, or judge, local businesses. In fact, let's not be quick to villify the brands themselves. If you want that Camelbak bottle, then buy it. If you just bought the cool Giro helmet, don't ask for a refund or throw it in your closet. Giro research and development into the Vanquish helmet didn't make its way into some sort of aerodynamic gun. They just happen to be owned by the same parent company.

These brands are not shell companies or gun-money laundering fronts. They are bike brands. Giro sponsors the massively popular Grinduro event, while Blackburn empowers the adventures of riders around the world through the Ranger Program. You will often see prize donations from these labels at your local events. Bell is a helmet company that, alongside Giro, is leading the way for industry helmet safety standards. These initiatives are more reflective of where your money really goes.

The people who represent and work for these brands are definitely feeling the pressure right now, and conflating the work they believe in with death and destruction is an unfair accusation. They just want to get people on bike trails, or keep people safe and hydrated. This article, shared by a good friend, says it quite well: "We've got these brands people have loved — and they are very, very good brands; they just happened to have been acquired by this company," Chandler said. "Unfortunately, it is their employees, who are our close associates and friends, who would suffer more than the wealthy, socially irresponsible parent company." It continues, "Small retail businesses are fighting as it is to stay afloat because of the threats of internet sales," he said. "Something like this — while not the nail in the coffin — doesn't help."

On the front lines it is unreasonable to expect your local shops to bear the brunt of this issue and pull everything off the wall. In many shops, these will result in bare walls... and then, what? The stock you see at your local level does not belong to the company any more. If your local store doesn't sell it, then Savage Arms (the gun company at issue here) are not the ones on the line financially. They won't even feel it. Your local shop will. When this blows over ('cause it will), and your local retailer puts the old stock back up, it will be harder to sell. The cool new thing will be out, and you'll want to buy that instead.

Of course, I applaud any business who may take such a stand. It's their choice to make. What I am saying is, any attempt to hold your money hostage until local shops meet your ethical demands is in itself an unethical course of action.

Okay, sure. The notion that tight financial returns will send a louder message to these companies isn't wrong. I would argue, however, that emailing, phone calls and social media callouts to the parent company are ultimately more effective in this day and age. Again, orders have already been made and the money has already changed hands. What you see in store has been paid for.

In light of this, it's disappointing to see Mountain Equipment Co-Op waffling on the issue. Why the double standard towards them? Well, they're worth several hundred thousand more to these companies, and Vista Outdoor. They are not pulling the associated brands from shelves, but selling them through and suspending upcoming orders. So, they're still going to make money, then turn around and spend less. It may send a loud message, but the brands and their employees will now take a stronger hit for the transgressions of their distant cousin.

This is especially interesting in light of the fact that Mountain Equipment Co-Op continues to carry Black Diamond. The Black Diamond brand is owned by Clarus (formerly Black Diamond Inc.), which acquired Sierra Bullets in August of 2017. I only address this because, let's be honest, your vitriol with Vista Outdoor's brands is based on the issue-du-jour. Such quick actions will only affect the neighbors who run your local shops. Savage Arms won't fold because you didn't buy a hydration pack.

Raise your voice where you feel it is needed, but be wary of who your bandwagon hopping will directly affect. It very well may result in some irreversible collateral damage.

Putting A Plan Together

I've decided to ride 1000km in the month of June for charity.

Specifically, the Great Cycle Challenge (Please read more and donate Here, if you'd like).

So what next?

A plan seems wise...

Just last month I decided to take my cycling just a little more seriously, and stick to a training plan. The ride I was preparing for at the time was the Bonne Bay Loop, and a specific long climb. The training plan I chose was the "15 Minute Climb", and promised to give me a shot at my best segment effort after four weeks of strict training.

The ride didn't actually happen for me (whoops) but I did learn discipline regarding preparation and early mornings; Laying kit out the night before so getting ready isn't tough, as well as getting enough sleep the night before. Things along those lines.

I also quit beer for a spell... but more on this at another time.

Looking ahead, I figure it's time to make a plan. Something I can strictly adhere to in order to give myself the best chances at cycling 1000km in one month, while still maintaining a social life and doing well at work.

Other people do it all the time, sure!

The Math.

I have 31 days to ride the distance. In those 31 Days I actually have four full weeks, which is nice to plan around.

Leading into week one I have what I'm calling three bonus days, to get started and get my legs moving. I do of course have the next week for prep as well, but plan on using this time to rest and get on an early morning schedule so when the riding starts, I'm used to it.

Thursday and Friday the 1st and 2nd I'll shoot for at least 50km between the two days. On the third I'll shoot for another 50, getting me 100km to start things off.

Sunday the 4th I'll be participating in a Sprockids training camp, so while there will be some riding I can't account for how much. So this could be a rest day, depending on time. We'll see.

If Sunday isn't an official rest day, Monday will be. Here is where I'll start my weekly schedules.

Mondays will start the week with rest days. From then on, I'm on a weekly schedule... and here's what I think it looks like.

Mondays and Fridays will become weekdays, leaving three days a week and then weekends to get in 225km / week.

The goal is to get 25kms on Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays. I have a good loop to provide this distance in my pre-work morning hours.

On weekends, I have the arduous task of squeezing in 150kms between two days, however I see fit to do so. The easiest breakdown will be 75km / day on weekends, but it might be more fun to shake it up and play with the distances and goals.

The Conclusion.

So, hypothetically.

Sunday: 75km

Monday: Rest.

Tuesday: 25km Goulds Loop

Wednesday: 25km Goulds Loop

Thursday: 25km Goulds Loop

Friday: Take 'er easy. Drink a beer. Maybe two.

Saturday: 75km

And, repeat.

At the outset, this seems doable. I'm not including any small evening rides with friends, or the St John's Shorttrack Series. Those will add kms as I go along. There will also be random commutes here and there, I'm sure. So I think this is an achievable goal. We'll see.

I do know now this plan brings me in at a 150km deficit heading into the final week. So I'll reevaluate once I have an idea of what toll this schedule takes on my life. Will I need to ride mornings and afternoons? Stay tuned.

I'm trying not to get worked up or feel too much pressure -- something I think I'll make the basis of my next blog post, regarding the mental aspect of all this.

'till then, adios.

The Great Cycle Challenge

So, this coming June I will be doing a thing.

I've signed up to the 'Great Cycle Challenge: Canada' which supports SickKids foundation. This organisation is working towards a cure for childhood cancer -- and, I imagine, cancer in general.

I've decided to blog along the way and update on my progress. I've set 1000km in the month of June as my distance goal, which is probably the most I've ever ridden in one month, ever. I've also set $500 as my fundraising goal, which I hope to surpass as time goes on. It's a modest financial goal but every little bit helps. If I reach it (thanks to your help), then I'll crank it up to 11 and keep on truckin'.

My reasons for doing this will be explored throughout the next couple of weeks, but a concise summary right now would probably be: Cancer Sucks. I've watched this disease take lives both figuratively and literally throughout my short lifetime, and sincerely hope to see the day where it is no longer a threat to the health and happiness of... well, everyone. Young, old; poor, or less poor.

As an experiment of sorts, I'll also be talking a little along the way about the issues facing an athlete with colitis. At the end of last year I was diagnosed with this disease, and balancing my passion for endurance sports with a delicate digestive system has been, to say the least, educational. I'll research and play to  learn what I can about the dos and don'ts, and then write about it here.

If you'd like to donate and support this effort, please feel free to swing by here. Donating can start as early as... right now. No need to wait 'till June. If you'd like to learn a little more about SickKid's foundation, then please take a look at their website.

The blogging will sporadic and time-dependent, so for more regular updates on progress then please feel free to visit my Instagram.

Thank you in advance, and here's to cycling for a cause.

Merino + Bike

Dear Icebreaker,

What happened to your cycling gear? It was the bomb.

No, seriously, I love it.

With the number of prestige Cycling brands currently backing Merino product in their ultra 'spensive lineups, I find it curious that the ultimate Merino brand has taken themselves out of the game.

I'm willing to bet it's the result of poor sales. Can't produce something if it doesn't make a profit! Entirely understandable.

Here's the thing, though: You scuttled ship too early.




(Via: Your Own Marketing. He is on a GRAVEL road!)


Icebreaker Merino is perfect for Cyclists in the fall, spring and winter. Even on a cooler summer's day, it keeps one warm without overheating. The nature of Icebreaker's New-Zealand wool is an incomparable advantage. The sheep spend their sheepish days in a multitude of conditions -- stormy, sunny, snowy, dry. Their wool reacts accordingly. It's an all-natural substitute to the myriad synthetics who claim to do the same thing, but not nearly as well.

Lycra is cool but wool is where it's at.

A fall or spring day on the road can start out cold, but jump many degrees in a short period of time. Alternatively it can be a warm start at noon, but fall rapidly as the sun heads west. The Merino wool will keep cool when it's warm, and warm when it's cool. Moisture-wicking abilities mix well with its anti-bacterial properties, allowing it to take the worst of one's sweat and stand up against the stink.

It's got a no-itch guarantee, as well. Killer.

I’m not the only one who thinks so. A simple google search pulls this review from Canadian Cyclist, back in 2012: “The bottom line is that if you are looking for comfort and performance over fashion, then it is very hard to go wrong with the new Icebreaker cycling kit.”

Or, see also your own myriad links from 2011, on the Icebreaker Blog. From here you sent readers to many more rave testimonials.

And now, in 2015… nuthin’.

Consider this: You just targeted the wrong bikers.

Right now Cyclocross and Fatbiking are taking off in a big way.

Just over a week ago I geared up in a fully Icebreaker kit (top/ bottom + baselayer) for a Cyclocross race in Nova Scotia, Canada. The thermostat chilled comfortably at four degrees celsius. I didn't have a care in the world. Within 45 minutes I had warmed up considerably between the extreme aerobic workout and rising sun. A five degree jump turned me into a sweaty mess by the end, but I remained comfortable and cool.

A couple days later I threw on my Merino Jersey and struck out on an easy-spin road ride. Nothing crazy, just 60k of rolling coastline climbs and drops. With a threat of rain, I opted for arm warmers and a waterproof layer. I was warm and toasty throughout the entire ride, with 'nar sensation of overwhelming heat or debilitating cold. It was perfect. The temperature hovered between four to eight degrees, depending on windchill. No worries.




(Merino Selfie)


I'm looking forward to testing my IB layers on the fatbike this coming winter. Considering its ability to shine on a day of Cross-Country aerobics, I'm anticipating good things.

It's the magic material.

With the rise of fall Cyclocross racing and deep winter fatbiking, it's time for you to bring back your superior cycling line. People in either of these disciplines need a layer to react to their constantly fluctuating environments, and you have the key -- especially with your recent adoption of windproof synthetics mixed into your cold weather activewear. A pair windproof merino full-length bib tights (with chamoix) would make a killing.

If you just took the Bodyfit Zone tech and take off the long sleeves, you have a one-piece aerosuit -- perfect for Cyclocross enthusiasts.

Fat Bikers are likely already suiting up with your baselayers. Get an ambassador to attest to this fact, and BOOM.

Or rather, BAAAA.

So, please. Pretty please.

You are the hero cycling needs right now, whether we know it or not.

Sincerely,

RDB

Another Cyclist, Gone

Photo: Ray Bradshaw of Global Halifax

A family has lost a loved one, friends have lost a companion. The cycling community of Halifax was somber yesterday, as riding buddies messaged one another to see if they were 'ok'. They too have lost one of their own -- a tight knit community of enthusiasts who love the feeling of two wheels, and the open road beneath them.

May she rest in peace.

Internet comments and observations are never a positive barometer of general consensus or thought, but are nonetheless disappointing. On News-sites and Facebook, some were blaming cyclists for being unsafe -- again. Others blamed drivers for being careless. It is a repetitive chorus.

As always, laying responsibility accomplishes nothing.

I cannot imagine the conscience of the truck's operator. They have inadvertently taken a life. A police investigation will discover the course of events, but we must calm our vitriol and remember this driver is human, as well.

It was an accident.

Another accident, following a string of collisions within the last few days. The last few months. Years, even.

It's easy to say Cyclists should be more cautious and drivers should be aware, but in the end everyone is using the same roadway, with nothing to separate them but a splash of paint (sometimes). We're in it together, but cyclists are the ones being seriously injured, or dying, in the resulting collisions.

The problem lies within the poor infrastructure, and bureaucracy that applies band-aids instead of meaningful change.

Halifax roads are unsafe. To make them safer for both all commuters, we need protected bike lanes.

Sure, the roads are old. So are the innumerable cities and towns in Europe where cycling is commonplace, or even the dominant form of transportation.



Morning Ebb And Flow from jim slade on Vimeo.


This lazy excuse is inadequate. The trouble is money. Luckily, the Halifax Cycling Coalition has figured out how much. Go take a read. They even address the common myth that roads are not wide enough.

We also need mandatory guards on the undercarriages of big trucks. The Halifax Cycling Coalition is also calling for this. It isn't the first time they've made such recommendations. Hopefully it is the last.

These precautions will save lives. They will encourage more people to cycle. This, in turn, could create a more positive relationship between motorists and cyclists. It would also equate to a healthier, more active community. In some cases, it's helped the economy.

Around the world, communities have flourished with these implementations. Halifax could very well do the same.

Email your local councillor and ask them for a safer and more inclusive Halifax roadway system throughout the whole of HRM. Don't settle for debate or assignment of blame.

Mostly, though, send your condolences and thoughts to the family and friends of yesterday's victim. Hopefully, she will be the last.

407 Is Destroyed

Ski Wentworth, as seen after the race. To the right, a straight shot up. That was ascent #2.

"Beat To Snot" was the name of the trail race.

More on this in a second.

As I crested the first ascent and turned the corner to a sharp downhill of Ski Wentworth, I had to take a second and forget about heartbeat, cadence, or the quiet burning sensation in my legs (it would get a lot worse). 

It looked like I was running towards the edge of an abyss. Closer to the end, it was obviously not the case, as a snow-less ski trail opened up beneath, with a visible trail of dirt and muck leading the way where others had tread down the precipitous slope. Trees were changing colour along either side of the descent, wet and lush from a rising fog which had soaked me on the way up. The valley below was barely visible through the mist.

It was beautiful. 

I remarked as such to the man ahead of me, with whom I'd barely been keeping up. 

He agreed, and added: "It's a good time for a snack!". 

I took his advice, and pulled out a strawberry Gu Gel from the pack in my pocket. Sucking on the sweet (not?) artificial gummy flavouring, I smiled. Good workout. Good view. Good people, even. This was pretty cool. 

Suddenly the man shot off down the descent, disappearing into the mist like that dude from the Polar Express. Or as my grandmother might have put it "like a fart in the wind." 

I tried to keep up, but couldn't. Not nearly enough stability or ability in my legs.

Turns out I'd be doing much of the race like this. Alone.

Oh well.

Post-race. Soaked. 

A glance at my Garmin marked the 2k point, and with a sign I continued onwards. One foot in front of the other. This wouldn't be over any time soon. 

I had no idea this Saturday race was titled "Beat To Snot". At least, I didn't know 'till I took a first look at the terrain, on Friday night. 

Only a couple of days before this, I had been asked if I'd be interested in participating. Without a compelling reason not to, I figured "sure!". It would be a good excuse to get out. Jeffery Zahavich, owner of Kinesic Sports Lab, was the one who had extended the invitation. He estimated he'd be in the same boat; undertrained, but enthusiastic. I didn't point out the difference between undertrained and no-trained, which was my case.

The longest I'd run this summer was 10k, on pavement. 

Oh boy.

I justified a 16k trail run as a great way to see some more Nova Scotian countryside. Who cares if I had never fun this far ever before? Who cares if it's on a ski hill? 

I sure didn't. That is, until I reached the bottom of the second descent. A volunteer was waiting, taking pictures with her iPhone, cheering everyone on. 

Between enthusiastic hurrahs, she yelled "5k runners, head to finish!". These racers were all done, and welcome to head straight on to the ski lodge behind her, with its warm and cozy interior. 

The temptation to spring forward was strong. Who would know? I could say I'd meant to sign up for the 5k. Jeff might rib me, but I'd be able to walk later. And I'd be dry.

Nope. With a sigh, I turned right and headed back up the hill -- straight line up a sharp incline, alongside the chairlift supports. 

Chairlifts. What a novel idea. 

The route was not exclusively confined to ski paths. Some sections cut between runs using flowy, mossy singletrack. Soft, and grippy. The fourth ascent was particularly fun, reminiscent of a Mountain Bike Trail, complete with berms and bridges. 

By now my Salomon Speedcross were soaked, and muddy. Along the first ascent, some burbling brooks and marshy pits were too wide to hop, so they were cristened early. Bought during the spring before, these kicks hadn't actually seen a whole lot of trail (any, really) until now. They were stellar. Impeccable grip, and quick to shed moisture. They're still drying in my apartment, but during the run my feet were never uncomfortably wet.

Finally muddy. 

A big part of my comfortable toes were the Multi-Sport Icebreaker socks I'd purchased the day before. Incomparable. 

Keeping my core warm was a light-blue Craft Cross-Country Ski jacket. I honestly can't remember its name, but it's kept me comfy for about two years now. I've used it running, cycling, skiing, and casually. It's held up in each instance, and proved to be perfect for Saturday. With a simple Icebreaker Running T underneath, I was never too hot or cold as the wind whipped drizzle around Wentworth's higher elevations. 

I had been nervous at the start, seeing som efolks dress up in shorts and a singlet. Others sported tights and Arc'teryx shells. Most everyone had some kind of a water-pack of some kind. I felt pretty dopey, carrying my single cycling bottle. Something to remember for next time. 

By the 10th km, the ascents were more like hikes for me. The downhills were starting to burn my thighs and glutes. 

It was hella-fun. 

Every climb lead to a beautiful vista, and every descent was a win, 'cause I didn't succumb to temptation and just roll down. 

Heck, just being there was a win. 

As the second hour rolled around, the mist disappeared from the higher elevations, leaving behind a thick dew. Gusts of wind chilled the spine a litte here and there, but it never got too cold. 

Lana Del-Rey was stuck in my head. 

I was keeping pace with a couple of people behind me, and one woman in front. She would blast off on the downhills, and my long legs would help catch her on the way up. The others stayed firmly behind, always in view. On the second-to-last descent, though, this pattern started to fall apart as my thighs began to stiffen up in protest of the abuse they'd been dealt. 

The head game had begun. Surprisingly, though, I didn't feel like I'd hit "the wall" at any point. It simply became a negotiation within myself: "keep putting one foot in front of the other, no matter how fast or slow. At the end, there could be cookies." 

Mmmmmm, cookies.

Gimme. 

The final rise was fairly tame compared to everything that had preceeded it. A mix of more singletrack, and a few overrun woods roads with tiny rolling hills. Cresting each rise deserved a smile, and got one. 

Then, down again... one last time. 

By now, the downhills were a gritty chore. My thighs were screaming. I stopped more often than I'd have liked, just to give them a break. 

One foot in front of the other, though. Keep on keepin' on. 

I passed the final Volunteer with about a kilometer and a half left, and he topped me up on water. 

"You've got about a mile left!" he told me, encouragingly. "It's all downhill from here!" 

Oh great, my favourite, I thought. 

More singletrack. More flow. I desperately wished for two tready wheels to carry me down, but nothing magically appeared. It was just me, and the mulchy earth beneath my shoes. With my Garmin reading Two Hours and Fourty minutes, I began to chant "Less than three, less than three..." 

One foot. Another. Run, run, run. Up, down, up, down. Turn left. Turn right. Cross the bridge. Hop the root. 'round the tree. Repeat. 

"Less than three..." down, down, down. 

Ouch. 

2:52:00, I passed a house. Hobbling along, I saw the trees breaking onto a cleared hill -- the bottom of another Ski run, with a muddy trail through the grass headed towards a gravel parking lot. 

Hitting the flat, finally, brought another smile. Turning left, I could see the finish next to the lodge. 

Less than three... 

I'd made it. A 16k trail run. Holy shit. 

Jeff was at the end, bundled up in a sweater and sweats. He'd finished a little more than half an hour before me. 

"What number are you!?" They asked me as I crossed the finish. 

"Four Oh Seven!" I replied. Ecstatic. Exhausted. 

To my left, the fog had lifted and revealed the top of the hill. I just ran up that, I thought. Several times. 

Woah. 

Jeff smiled at me, and offered a fist bump. "How are you feeling!?" He asked. 

I just laughed. 

Beneath the Salomon timing tent, Jodi (one of the awesome organizers) was grinning at me. He nudged Jeff. "I have something to show you, and Ryan too..." 

He pulled out his phone. 

"One of the volunteers texted me a little while ago." He scrolled, toggled the text, and then showed it to Jeff and I.

"Number 407 is destroyed. Well done." it said. 

Indeed I was. Destroyed, and happy. Beat to a snot.